It was not because you had loved me for years, nor because you’ve seen me even if I felt invisible. It was not because you gave me laughter, and hope. It certainly was not because I realized I couldn’t be me without you.
It was because you ran to me when I cried. When the sky cried as well, and you were there waiting and waiting for me. It was because you turned around that day when I thought you wouldn’t. It was because you loved the rain and smiled to it. It was the origami rose you gave me. It was the words that flowed out so simple yet so beautiful. It was because you accepted my flaws. It was the walk to saving me. It was because you cried for saving Mother Earth. It was the feeling of you right beside me. The long night talks we have, the kisses I could share with you. The morning when I awoke with you still there. It was the breaking down of my walls. It is because I could no longer write the reasons I’ve thought for they lie between the feeling of secrecy and magic.
My love, my love. I fell in love with you because you looked at me, you are my constant when everything is fading away.
I laid down, the tall grass covered me. I didn’t mind. I watched the sky and the birds flew and I realized that the birds were trapped with the same blue sky for years. And I wonder if some bird realized that.
It was one of those nights that I dreamt of you, forgetting that we ended whatever we had. The smiles and laughter that I wish were true, and the warmth that you gave as I held your hand. I wish it were real. I wish you were here. I wish there was still us, but all I could do was dream.
I'm sorry if I'm being cold and numb, but I don't think I'll ever be the same again after all the pain and sorrow that rushed into me. But I'm happy on who I am now, on where and how I am too. The past made me stronger, and wiser. I know that soon enough, someone will dare break in my thorny Great Wall and warm me up. I know that I can't be emotionless forever. I deserve to feel permanent happiness. I deserve warmth and love.
I am terrified of whatever is going to happen now. I’ve always been a coward in a lion mask, and I just don’t know where to go from here. I want to get there, but I am far from wherever there is. I will always be terrified, but it’s not going to stop me from going beyond my limits.
I got tired of the pain and sorrow that when I got over it, I locked myself up to the world. Then you came and you broke me again. It's like a cycle. And I hate it how I fall for that the same process over and over again.
I like being alone. I like reading in a quite place with hot chocolate. I like looking at the city lights. I like walking back home alone and being able to feel the breeze in my cheeks. But I see people laughing as they passed by, and I realize I like being alone. But I don’t fancy being alone.